To create a safer, more inclusive world, let’s smash some common stereotypes about pansexuality.

Pansexual people are just confused about their attraction and haven’t “chosen a side” yet.

There is also no such thing as a “side”. How you experience attraction is individual to you - there is no right or wrong way to feel attraction for others. It is normal for attraction to change over time, and it can be expressed differently in each different connection, situation, and relationship.

Pansexual people are attracted to everyone, so they can’t be in committed relationships and will always cheat on their partner/s.

Being pansexual means that your romantic, emotional, and/or sexual attraction to someone is not based on their sex, sexual orientation, gender, or gender identity. It does not mean that all pansexual people are attracted to all people, just like, for example, not all heterosexual women are attracted to all heterosexual men!

Being pansexual does not invalidate the love, attraction, respect, and commitment that you have for your partner/s and their boundaries and expectations.

Pansexual people are just sexually promiscuous and hedonistic.

Terms such as “promiscuous” and “hedonistic” tend to have negative connotations and tend to be used by societies that hold sex-negative views. Having many sexual relationships and seeking pleasure is not a bad thing if it’s done safely, ethically, and consensually. Many people, regardless of their sex, sexual orientation, gender, and gender identity, have many happy and healthy sexual relationships and positive experiences of seeking pleasure!

Someone can’t know that they are pansexual if they haven’t had sexual relationships with different people.

Someone can have no doubt about their heterosexuality without having yet been sexually active. Much the same, being pansexual is not dependent on whether or not you’ve had non-heteronormative sexual relationships.

This stereotype also erases the very real experiences of pansexual people whose attraction to others is more romantic and/or emotional rather than sexual.

In summary

It is not ok for other people to impose their judgements based on a lack of understanding.

Labels are just for you and up to you. Only you get to decide the terms, labels, or identities you feel comfortable using. And only you get to decide if you want to use a label at all!

If you identify as pansexual, know and hear this:

We see you.

You are valid.

You are accepted.

You are perfect and enough as you are

This blog post is a brief exploration of this topic and does not replace therapy. At SHIPS, we have practitioners that are knowledgeable and skilled in a variety of areas including sex therapy, relationships and more. If you may benefit from some support, please check out our website resources, or contact us.

We are also always happy to hear feedback about our blog articles. If you would like to share your experience or feel we may have missed something on this topic, please contact us to let us know.