Expressions of Sex & Gender

Let’s talk about the difference between the expression of gender and sexuality. What are they and how can they overlap and interact?

Gender expression: external representation of our gender identity. Gender is the social construction and representation of masculinity, femininity, non-binary, or unique affirming representation of gender. Our gender identity exists internally - thought-out thoughts, feelings and sense of who we are in our own mind and externally through how we dress, our hair, physical body, voice, name, and pronouns. It can feel euphoric when our internal identity connects with our external expression.

Sexuality expression: external representation of our sexual identity. Sexuality is the external representation of our internal sexual preferences, desires, and attractions. Sexuality can be connected to socially constructed identity expressions eg. you might identify as a lesbian and the social characteristics of the lesbian community feel affirming to you. And also - it might not, your identity and expression comes down to what feels right for you.

Overlap and interaction between sexuality and gender:

Part of your sexual identity may involve or be influenced by your expression of gender eg. you might feel really affirmed by masc expression of gender identity and this influences how you behave sexually eg. it feels gender euphoric to be dominant in bed.

The reverse can also be the case - your gender identity may be influenced by your sexuality. Eg. you might be really aroused by wearing femme clothing and submissive role during sexual play. To feel connected with your sexuality you like to bring femme dress into what you wear every day. This influences the way you express your gender.

Or…there may be no overlap at all! Your gender identity and sexual identity may exist in separate spaces for you, or you might enjoy flipping the script when you are in bed eg You identify as non-binary, but really enjoy playing with femme representation in bed.

Or it might be fluid, playful and every changing.

You do you. There is no ‘right’ way to express gender or sexuality.

This blog post is a brief exploration of this topic and does not replace therapy. At SHIPS, we have practitioners that are knowledgeable and skilled in a variety of areas including sex therapy, relationships and more. If you may benefit from some support, please check out our website resources, or contact us.

We are also always happy to hear feedback about our blog articles. If you would like to share your experience or feel we may have missed something on this topic, please contact us to let us know.