How you experience attraction is individual to you - there is no right or wrong way to be attracted! In a sexualised world, it’s important to know that attraction is not just about sex. We’ve found that understanding the nuances of attraction can be helpful in clarifying things for yourself and your partner(s). Knowing how you express different types of attraction can help in establishing boundaries and your own sense of identity.

‘Pansexuality’ and ‘Panromanticism’ are identities that have different meanings for different people. Some people identifying as ‘pan’ explain that their sexual or romantic attraction is about the person and their individual qualities rather than about that person's gender identity or expression.

Pansexuality and Panromanticism involve different types of attraction - so we thought we would take this opportunity to flesh this out a little.

Let’s make a few things clear before we jump in:

Labels are for you. It is up to you what kind of terms/ identifiers you use (if you want to use them at all).

It is normal for attraction to change over time and be different in each connection/situation.

Sexual Attraction

Having a desire/arousal/drive to engage in sexual touching or activity with someone. Involves the eliciting of erotic interest.

Romantic Attraction

A deep emotional connection/draw toward someone. You might have romantic feelings/fantasies/ desires. You may desire to spend lots of time together and build a connection and relationship.

Physical Attraction

To be physically near someone, cared for or treated with love and affection (also called ‘sensual attraction’). This can include hugging, cuddling or any other forms of physical affection.

Emotional Attraction

A desire to be emotionally present with someone; you want to share the things you are feeling, and you want them to do the same.

You can feel different levels of emotional attraction to your friends, family and intimate partner(s).

Aesthetic attraction

When you feel attracted to a person’s physical appearance; you may appreciate and enjoy the way a person looks.

Intellectual attraction

An attraction to a person's cognitive capacity and intellectual expressions. You may gain pleasure from discussions or other types of activities that involve intellectual engagement.

It is possible to experience any combination of these forms of attraction or none at all.

You do you!

This blog post is a brief exploration of this topic and does not replace therapy. At SHIPS, we have practitioners that are knowledgeable and skilled in a variety of areas including sex therapy, relationships and more. If you may benefit from some support, please check out our website resources, or contact us.

We are also always happy to hear feedback about our blog articles. If you would like to share your experience or feel we may have missed something on this topic, please contact us to let us know.