A deep and meaningful relationship is not dependent on sexual intimacy. Non-sexual emotional and physical intimacy can be just as important in fostering an intimate relationship.

What is non-sexual emotional intimacy?

Emotional intimacy involves the mutual sharing of our deepest selves with those we trust and feeling seen, heard, and understood when we do. Non-sexual emotional intimacy is expressing these deeper parts of ourselves that are not related to our sexual expression. We can experience and express emotional intimacy in both verbal and non-verbal ways. How comfortable, safe, and close we feel with another person can sometimes indicate the level of emotional intimacy that we may have with them.

Some things that can help foster non-sexual emotional intimacy:

Sharing our deepest thoughts, feelings, dreams, hopes, fears, and disappointments, etc.
Expressing our needs and wants.
Sharing our past and current positive and negative experiences.
Expressing genuine encouragement, reassurance, and compassion.
Being open and honest about our thoughts and feelings about the other person and the relationship.
Sharing space and time while doing an activity that brings comfort and joy.
Asking questions and being curious about the other person’s inner and outer world.
Actively listening without judgement.

Ways that you might know that there is emotional intimacy within a relationship:

You both feel completely accepted for who you are.
You can both openly and comfortably share your deepest selves.
You both feel understood when you share your thoughts and feelings.
You both feel deeply cared for by each other.
You both trust that you would willingly help each other where possible.

What is non-sexual physical intimacy?

Non-sexual physical intimacy involves close physical proximity and/or touch that helps communicate positive and intimate feelings towards someone without the intention or expectation for it to lead to any sexual activity. How someone likes to give and receive non-sexual physical intimacy may vary from person to person. Before engaging in any physical intimacy, it is important to know each other’s preferences and to ask for consent.

Some types of non-sexual physical intimacy:

Being within someone’s personal space without any touching involved.
Holding hands.
Placing hands on arms, shoulders, back etc.
Cuddling, hugging, or embracing.
Sitting close enough to allow for light and/or firm touching of certain body parts (e.g., forearms pressed against each other).
Touching heads.
Kissing on the forehead, cheek, shoulders, etc.
Non-sexual caresses and massages.
Sustained eye contact.

This blog post is a brief exploration of this topic and does not replace therapy. At SHIPS, we have practitioners that are knowledgeable and skilled in a variety of areas including sex therapy, relationships and more. If you may benefit from some support, please check out our website resources, or contact us.

We are also always happy to hear feedback about our blog articles. If you would like to share your experience or feel we may have missed something on this topic, please contact us to let us know.